Dear Second Little Sprout,
I haven't written you until this point like I did your older brother because I think I knew, on some level, that you were not meant to stay with us. The jumble of a mix of positive and negative pregnancy tests put a warning sign in to my head, and then when the first blood test required me to go back for a second to see if the numbers had improved, my hope wavered. When the doctor called only a few days after I first learned about you to tell me that I was losing you (today), I already knew what was happening, though I tried to hold onto brief glimmers of hope.
It's so difficult because so few people knew about you, which means there are fewer people to tell... But I also feel very alone. People try to say the right thing, but they don't. I don't want to think about how "Everything happens for a reason" or how there will be other chances and other babies or it wasn't the right time... Those comments hurt because you were very real, and I hoped you would be the one to complete our family.
There was a small part of me that has wished I hadn't known I was pregnant in the first place because then I wouldn't be in this pain, but I also don't want to pretend like you never happened. You were very much wanted. Even though you could not stay with us here, I know I will always wonder who you could have been... Whether you were a boy or a girl... Would you have looked like your big brother? What was wrong that you had to go?
You were part of me, of us, even if it was very briefly. You will not be forgotten. You were loved, and you still are.
Love,
Mommy
Meeting you soon!
Monday, November 5, 2012
Dear Lil Sprout,
Well, you listened to my "get out" in a roundabout way. We went to the regular OB appointment today, and my blood pressure is high... So, Dr. Hill wants to get you out tomorrow. I'm so dazed and excited and scared all at the same time! I went after the appointment and wandered around Target for a while. I bought paper plates, disposable utensils, napkins, and random Christmas things like garland for outside, a tree skirt, wrapping paper, and cat toys... Ha. It's like I'm afraid I won't ever leave the house again once you come (though I know your grandmothers would be more than willing to look after you to let me go somewhere).
We will start being induced at 6 a.m., so we should be meeting you tomorrow! It's Election Day, but I had no desire to vote in this election anyway, so that's fine by me. I just don't want you to be born a politician. :P
Daddy and I are going to go have a nice dinner tonight and have our last "pre-parent" date.
Seriously can't believe I'm going to be a mommy tomorrow... Wow!!
Love,
Mommy
Well, you listened to my "get out" in a roundabout way. We went to the regular OB appointment today, and my blood pressure is high... So, Dr. Hill wants to get you out tomorrow. I'm so dazed and excited and scared all at the same time! I went after the appointment and wandered around Target for a while. I bought paper plates, disposable utensils, napkins, and random Christmas things like garland for outside, a tree skirt, wrapping paper, and cat toys... Ha. It's like I'm afraid I won't ever leave the house again once you come (though I know your grandmothers would be more than willing to look after you to let me go somewhere).
We will start being induced at 6 a.m., so we should be meeting you tomorrow! It's Election Day, but I had no desire to vote in this election anyway, so that's fine by me. I just don't want you to be born a politician. :P
Daddy and I are going to go have a nice dinner tonight and have our last "pre-parent" date.
Seriously can't believe I'm going to be a mommy tomorrow... Wow!!
Love,
Mommy
Eviction notice
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Dear Little Sprout,
Please get out. Now. Thanks. :)
Love,
Mommy
Please get out. Now. Thanks. :)
Love,
Mommy
The finish line...
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Dear Lil Sprout,
Well, you have done a good job listening to me. I hope that's a sign of things to come. :P If you stick around inside until Monday, you will officially be term at 37 weeks. Great job! So... Feel free to start packing your bags and start heading for the exit. :P I think we would both be more comfortable! You keep sticking your leg/foot/something up in my side, and that's not so comfy. You've been mooning me by sticking your butt up into my stomach, too. I think you're frustrated about running out of room like I'm frustrated that it takes me forever and some pain even to sit up!
I wonder when you will come. Your daddy and I have had a few nice date evenings lately, and I wonder which will be the last before we are officially parents. I'm trying to enjoy this time, but I'm really just so excited to meet you that I can't stand it!
Soon, you'll be in my arms, little guy. I love you so much already.
Love,
Mommy :)
Well, you have done a good job listening to me. I hope that's a sign of things to come. :P If you stick around inside until Monday, you will officially be term at 37 weeks. Great job! So... Feel free to start packing your bags and start heading for the exit. :P I think we would both be more comfortable! You keep sticking your leg/foot/something up in my side, and that's not so comfy. You've been mooning me by sticking your butt up into my stomach, too. I think you're frustrated about running out of room like I'm frustrated that it takes me forever and some pain even to sit up!
I wonder when you will come. Your daddy and I have had a few nice date evenings lately, and I wonder which will be the last before we are officially parents. I'm trying to enjoy this time, but I'm really just so excited to meet you that I can't stand it!
Soon, you'll be in my arms, little guy. I love you so much already.
Love,
Mommy :)
Lounging around...
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Dear Lil Sprout,
Well, I haven't really written in a while, and I'm not really sure why because we have been on bedrest for 3.5 weeks, so it's not like I've been super busy! You decided you'd try to pull a stunt and see if you could come early, so you landed us in bed at 30.5 weeks... Way to go, little one. :P
The good news is that you had both of your showers, and you got so much nice stuff from so many people who love you already. :) Your room is finished, and it looks awesome! I am super proud of how it turned out, and I hope that you love it [once you are old enough to appreciate it]. We set up your swing in the living room today. It's getting very real that you're going to be here with us soon! I am excited and terrified at the same time.
At your last growth measurement at 33 weeks even, they estimated that you may already weigh 5 lbs. 10 oz.! That can be way off, but it doesn't sound like you're going to be a tiny guy. You also have a 36 week head already. Mommy isn't so thrilled about that one...
So, we're just hanging out and being low key. Keep hanging out in there until at least the end of October. We can't wait to meet you either, but we want to bring you home with us and not have to leave you behind at the hospital... So listen to your mama! :)
Love,
Mommy
Well, I haven't really written in a while, and I'm not really sure why because we have been on bedrest for 3.5 weeks, so it's not like I've been super busy! You decided you'd try to pull a stunt and see if you could come early, so you landed us in bed at 30.5 weeks... Way to go, little one. :P
The good news is that you had both of your showers, and you got so much nice stuff from so many people who love you already. :) Your room is finished, and it looks awesome! I am super proud of how it turned out, and I hope that you love it [once you are old enough to appreciate it]. We set up your swing in the living room today. It's getting very real that you're going to be here with us soon! I am excited and terrified at the same time.
At your last growth measurement at 33 weeks even, they estimated that you may already weigh 5 lbs. 10 oz.! That can be way off, but it doesn't sound like you're going to be a tiny guy. You also have a 36 week head already. Mommy isn't so thrilled about that one...
So, we're just hanging out and being low key. Keep hanging out in there until at least the end of October. We can't wait to meet you either, but we want to bring you home with us and not have to leave you behind at the hospital... So listen to your mama! :)
Love,
Mommy
Your room is almost done!
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Dear Little Sprout,
Well, little man, your nursery is almost done! Your Grandpa Scott still has to finish painting your dresser, and then we'll hang pictures and your valance over your window... But it's mostly done! I really appreciate Grandpa Scott and Nana Debi helping with all of the renovations in that room... Your daddy and I are kind of new at the whole home ownership and decorating thing! I hope that you will love your room. It has an ocean theme, so I am hoping that it can grow with you for at least a few years.
Sometimes, I go in there and just look at your room and stare at your crib like wooooooooowww. It makes things so much more real. I even catch your daddy slipping in there and looking at your crib. ;)
However, just because you have a room doesn't mean that it's time for you to come hang out in it! You need to bake at least another 12 weeks, please. In order to make that a shorter and more comfortable process for both of us, I would kindly suggest that you get out of my ribcage. :)
You are still very active. I'll be interested to see if you have a little brother or sister if he or she is this active in the womb. From what I've read, you seem to be more active than the average fetus. (If Nana Debi is reading this, she's cringing because she hates when I call you a fetus.) You discovered my ribcage the other day, so that's your new hangout... I don't know if you think you're playing in a cage or playing jail or what, but it's not super fun on my end. :P
You were being hyper this evening, then Daddy came over and rubbed my tummy and talked to you. That seemed to calm you down a lot. You'd give little kicks back to what he was saying, but you were otherwise pretty calm. Maybe it's because he was speaking some French, and you were confused like I was. ;P
In a week and a half, you'll have your first shower! I'm excited to celebrate you with friends and family. :)
Love,
Mommy
Well, little man, your nursery is almost done! Your Grandpa Scott still has to finish painting your dresser, and then we'll hang pictures and your valance over your window... But it's mostly done! I really appreciate Grandpa Scott and Nana Debi helping with all of the renovations in that room... Your daddy and I are kind of new at the whole home ownership and decorating thing! I hope that you will love your room. It has an ocean theme, so I am hoping that it can grow with you for at least a few years.
Sometimes, I go in there and just look at your room and stare at your crib like wooooooooowww. It makes things so much more real. I even catch your daddy slipping in there and looking at your crib. ;)
However, just because you have a room doesn't mean that it's time for you to come hang out in it! You need to bake at least another 12 weeks, please. In order to make that a shorter and more comfortable process for both of us, I would kindly suggest that you get out of my ribcage. :)
You are still very active. I'll be interested to see if you have a little brother or sister if he or she is this active in the womb. From what I've read, you seem to be more active than the average fetus. (If Nana Debi is reading this, she's cringing because she hates when I call you a fetus.) You discovered my ribcage the other day, so that's your new hangout... I don't know if you think you're playing in a cage or playing jail or what, but it's not super fun on my end. :P
You were being hyper this evening, then Daddy came over and rubbed my tummy and talked to you. That seemed to calm you down a lot. You'd give little kicks back to what he was saying, but you were otherwise pretty calm. Maybe it's because he was speaking some French, and you were confused like I was. ;P
In a week and a half, you'll have your first shower! I'm excited to celebrate you with friends and family. :)
Love,
Mommy
What you've been up to
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Dear Lil Sprout,
Well, daddy and I went to see Dark Knight Rises the other night. I don't think you liked the movie! It had a lot of loud explosions and fights, and you were freaking out and kicking all over the place! You do like music, though. I put my iPhone on my stomach with music playing last night, and you were bopping around under it. You loved the Blackeyed Peas. You thought Brad Paisley was okay. You flat out did not like Kenny Chesney. You stopped moving until I stopped playing him, haha. You also like to move when I eat these chewy Jolly Rancher candies that I keep on my desk (and I probably really shouldn't because I eat too many of them).
You had your echocardiogram the other day, and the perinatologist (which is just a big fancy word for "fetal doctor") said that your heart looked good. You waved to us. So cute. :)
I also bought the paint for your nursery the other day, so I'm trying to finish getting that cleaned out so we can get started on decorating. I loooooveeee decorating!! :)
We are at 24 weeks and 1 day! We are almost into double digits in our countdown! EEK!
Love,
Mommy
Well, daddy and I went to see Dark Knight Rises the other night. I don't think you liked the movie! It had a lot of loud explosions and fights, and you were freaking out and kicking all over the place! You do like music, though. I put my iPhone on my stomach with music playing last night, and you were bopping around under it. You loved the Blackeyed Peas. You thought Brad Paisley was okay. You flat out did not like Kenny Chesney. You stopped moving until I stopped playing him, haha. You also like to move when I eat these chewy Jolly Rancher candies that I keep on my desk (and I probably really shouldn't because I eat too many of them).
You had your echocardiogram the other day, and the perinatologist (which is just a big fancy word for "fetal doctor") said that your heart looked good. You waved to us. So cute. :)
I also bought the paint for your nursery the other day, so I'm trying to finish getting that cleaned out so we can get started on decorating. I loooooveeee decorating!! :)
We are at 24 weeks and 1 day! We are almost into double digits in our countdown! EEK!
Love,
Mommy
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